Attachment science · Gottman method

Attune

Two nervous systems, learning to move in time.

A relationship companion that attunes what you mean, unpacks what they meant, and helps two people feel understood — tuned to how you and your partner are each wired for closeness.

Ember · the reaching pole Tide · the settled pole

Directional mockup · swap in a real screenshot

The idea

The same words land differently on different people.

To attune is to bring yourself into harmony with someone else. Attachment theory describes two ways couples fall out of sync: one partner activates — reaches, protests, floods — while the other deactivates — withdraws, goes quiet, needs space. Attune reads that dynamic and helps each of you say things the other can actually receive.

It's not couples therapy in a box, and it never takes a side. It's a calmer, wiser voice in the charged moment — grounded in attachment science and 40+ years of Gottman research.

01

Warm, not saccharine

Like a wise friend, not a greeting card. Warmth with a spine.

02

Grounded in science

Every insight traces to attachment research and the Gottman method.

03

Two-sided, always

Holds both people. Never picks a winner; helps each feel the other.

How it works

Know your wiring. Then use it in real moments.

1

Find your styles

A short attachment quiz reads how you handle closeness and distance — for you, and for your partner. You get a clear, blended result, not a one-word label.

2

Meet in the moment

Before you hit send, Attune rewrites the message for your partner's style. Got a reply that stung? Unpack surfaces what's likely underneath it.

3

Grow the pattern

Every exchange rolls up into Insights and a personalized plan, so the hard conversations slowly get easier — and more secure — over time.

What's inside

Six tools, one steady voice.

Each one is tuned to your and your partner's attachment styles, so the guidance is personal — never generic.

01

Attune

Recast what you want to say into what your partner's style can actually hear — softer, clearer, less likely to trigger a defense.

You never make time for us anymore.
↓ tuned for avoidant ↓
I've missed you this week — could we plan one evening that's just ours?
02

Unpack

Read the need underneath what they said. Paste a text, or drop a screenshot, and see the bid hiding inside the words.

It's fine. Do whatever you want.
Likely underneathA bid for reassurance, not permission. The "fine" is protest, not consent.
03

Sync

A 3–4 question check-in, delivered as a chat, that turns into a weekly read on the relationship — with Connection and Repair meters.

How close did you feel this week?
Maybe a 6.
CONNECTION
04

Chat

Open-ended guidance about your relationship and yourself, kept in the therapy lane with real crisis-safety guardrails.

Why do I shut down when he raises his voice?
That's a deactivating response — your system reads volume as danger and protects you by going quiet. Let's look at what helps you stay present…
05

Insights

Every tuned message, unpack, sync, and chat distills into bite-sized takeaways and next steps — with Gottman trend lines per partner over time.

You lead with protest when anxious.3 messages this week softened a bid for closeness.
Try a repair opener."I got activated — can we try again?" lands well for his style.
06

Grow

The science of attachment and the Gottman method — plus a full course and a plan personalized to how your style meets your partner's.

You · Anxious × Them · Avoidant
pursue–withdraw cycleyour 4-week plan
Beyond the compose box

It can read the conversations you've already had.

Most relationship apps only see what you type into them. Attune can learn from your real history — privately.

iMessage history trends

The Mac companion reads your Messages history on your device and turns it into month-by-month Gottman trend charts, a relationship arc, and named patterns — then syncs the read to your phone.

Conversation Coach

Record a real conversation and Attune transcribes it entirely on-device, then returns a deep report: wins and stumbles, Four Horsemen moments, repair attempts, and what to try next time.

Share a screenshot

Send any conversation screenshot straight into Attune from the share sheet. It sorts out who said what, then hands you an Unpack read — or, if you've a draft waiting, tunes it before you send.

The Mac companion

Your whole history, turned into a trend line.

Open the Mac companion and it reads your Messages history locally, on your machine — nothing uploaded — and turns years of conversation into a month-by-month Gottman trend, a relationship arc, and the words you each reach for most. The read syncs privately to your iPhone.

on-deviceread-onlysyncs to iPhone

Directional mockup · swap in a real screenshot

Four ways of loving

There's no broken style. Just different wiring.

Your attachment style is your built-in pattern for closeness under stress. Knowing yours — and your partner's — decodes an enormous amount of conflict. It's usually two blueprints colliding, not two bad people.

Find your style — free
Secure

Comfortable being close and being apart. Trusts, repairs easily, states needs directly.

Anxious

Reaches for closeness and reassurance. Highly attuned to a partner's shifts; can spiral in the silence.

Avoidant

Prizes independence. Deactivates under pressure and can read closeness as a demand.

Disorganized

Wants closeness and fears it at once. Pursues, then pulls back — two survival strategies at war.

More than one person

You don't talk to everyone the same way. Attune doesn't either.

Add everyone who matters — your partner, an ex you co-parent with, a best friend, a parent. Each one gets their own space, their own attachment read, and their own history. Switch between them and the whole app re-targets in a tap.

The more you use it, the more Attune learns how you actually sound with each person — your tone, your length, your emojis, your pet names — from the conversations you bring in. So a message tuned for your partner reads like you-and-them, and one tuned for your mom reads like you-and-her. The voice lives on the pairing, never a one-size-fits-all you.

Your people
Dev · partner · avoidant
active
Maya · best friend · secure
Dad · family · disorganized
Tuned to DevFewer words, more space, no exclamation points — the way you two actually text.
Not just for couples

For every close relationship.

Attachment shapes how we love, how we befriend, and how we sit at the family table. Attune works for partners of any gender, for friendships, and for the people you were born to — anywhere words land harder than you meant.

Partners

Theo & Marcus

A married couple; Marcus leans avoidant. Theo tunes the message before it turns into a fight.

You bailed on dinner with my parents again. Whatever, I'll just go alone.
↓ Attune · tuned for Marcus ↓
I was really looking forward to having you there tonight. Can we figure out what keeps getting in the way?
Friends

A prickly text from Maya

Best friends drift when a jab gets read as an attack. Unpack finds the bid underneath.

must be nice. some of us actually have to work weekends 🙃
Likely underneathNot really about your weekend — that's burnout, and a bid to feel seen. Reach for the feeling, not the jab.
Family

Answering Dad

The oldest patterns are the family ones. Attune keeps you out of the reflex fight.

why do you always criticize everything i do
↓ Attune · tuned for Dad ↓
When the first thing you mention is what I got wrong, it really lands. I'd love to hear the proud part too.
The Grow library

A whole relationship education, distilled.

The Attune Relationship Course turns 40+ years of Gottman research into 60-second lessons: the Four Horsemen and their antidotes, softened start-ups, bids and repair, the styles library, and a plan built for your exact pairing.

Explore Grow

The Four Horsemen →

Spot criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling — and the exact antidote to each.

The Five Patterns →

Fondness, turning toward, positive perspective, repair, and trust — what Attune tracks over time.

Growth journeys →

Short, guided paths for breaking anxious spirals, softening avoidance, or building secure habits.

Built on science

Credible, never clinical.

  • Attachment theory — the four-category model (secure, anxious, avoidant, disorganized) behind every tuned message.
  • The Gottman method — the Sound Relationship House, the Four Horsemen, bids, and repair, drawn from decades of research.
  • A companion, not a therapist. Attune never diagnoses, never takes a side, and points you to real help when a moment calls for it.
Yours, and private

Your relationship isn't ad inventory.

  • On-device by default. Voice memos are transcribed on your phone; the Mac reads Messages locally. The audio never leaves your device.
  • No ad model. Attune is paid, so the product is the product — not you.
  • Accounts do one job: moving your own insights between your own devices — nothing more.
Simple, honest pricing

The quiz is free. The work is worth it.

Take your attachment quiz and see your results at no cost. Attune is a paid subscription from there — no ads, no data resale, and no fake "free trial" that bills you by surprise.

Monthly
$14.99 / mo

Full access, month to month. Cancel anytime.

  • Attune, Unpack, Sync & Chat
  • Insights, Patterns & the Grow library
  • Conversation Coach & screenshot import

iPhone · iOS 17+ · Mac companion for iMessage insights

Questions

Good things to ask first.

No — and it won't pretend to be. Attune is a companion for the everyday moments between (or instead of) sessions: a wiser voice when you're drafting a hard text or trying to understand a reply. It's grounded in the same research many therapists use, and it will point you toward professional help when something calls for it.

Not at all. Attune works entirely from your side. You can assess your partner's likely style yourself (or run them through the quiz), and every tool helps you show up as a steadier, more attuned partner — which research calls "earned security," and it tends to be contagious.

Voice memos are transcribed on your device and the audio never leaves your phone. The Mac companion reads your Messages history locally, read-only. Text you send to Attune, Unpack, or Chat is processed to generate your result — Attune has no advertising model and doesn't sell your data.

Attune is an iPhone app (iOS 17+), with an optional Mac companion that turns your iMessage history into relationship trends. An Android version isn't available yet.

The attachment quiz and your results are free. Beyond that, Attune is a straightforward paid subscription with no trial — we'd rather charge honestly than auto-bill you after a countdown. Monthly and annual plans are available in the App Store.

Start with one honest question: how are we, really?

Take the free attachment quiz and see where you and your partner meet.

Two nervous systems, learning to move in time.